Claire McCarthy, M.D., is a senior medical editor for Harvard Health Publications. She is an instructor in pediatrics at Harvard Medical School, an attending physician at Children's Hospital of Boston, and co-director of the pediatrics department at Martha Eliot Health Center, a neighborhood health service of Children's Hospital. The author of two books, "Learning How the Heart Beats" and "Everyone's Children", Dr. McCarthy was a regular columnist for "Sesame Street Parents Magazine" from 1995 to 1998 and is currently a contributing editor for "Parenting Magazine".

Question:

How should I handle my teen cutting herself? She does not know I know about it.

Answer:

Find a moment when both you and your daughter have some time (i.e., not as she's running out the door for school or right before bed), and tell her that you know about her cutting. Make it really clear that you love her and that you are worried and sad that she has been having feelings that make her want to cut. Also let her know that you are absolutely committed to finding a way to make things better for her.

Cutting and other forms of self-mutilation are becoming more common among teenagers, especially teenage girls. The classic scenario is a young teen who is feeling pressured at school or having trouble at home. But every person who cuts is different. Some people suffering from depression or anxiety find that cutting is a release. Others find it as a way to feel something when they feel like they are feeling nothing.

Your daughter should see a therapist. Talk to your doctor for a recommendation. Family therapy can help to explore what may be going on in the family that is contributing to the problem and to support family members in the healing process. You will need to be patient and persistent; getting better can take a long time. But with that patience and persistence, and lots of love, your daughter can get better.